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E-mail to: Patrik Österblad

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4 bankers and 1 Psychiatrist...

4 bankers and 1 Psychiatrist...

Once upon a time there were two bankers working in a… bank. The bank was one of the biggest and most important in the whole Kingdom. The King was the owner of the bank where the Two Bankers were working. 

Every morning The Two Bankers came in early to the office. “Good morning banker” they said to each other. They logged into their computers and went for a coffee and a good laugh exchanging stories about their clients. 

The Two Bankers sat down looking at their screens with the coffee mugs in their hands. There was a lot of numbers on the screens, in all the colours of the rainbow, and the two bankers started to work immediately.

Why does it look like this…?

The task for the two bankers was to find out why the numbers on their screens had changed from the day before when they went home and to have an idea about what the change could mean.

They did not really understand all the numbers, or why the numbers was on the screen. But the King had told them it was very important to know about the numbers than anything else.

The bankers loved their job. What they liked most was to speak to the clients, sometimes also about the numbers.

They had become quite good friends with some of them. The two bankers was talking about everything that contributed to a good life with their clients.

 Do you understand “The Markets…?

Sometimes the clients asked about “The markets”. The markets was the almighty. It was greater than the Kingdom and the people living in the Kingdom. Nobody really understood what “The markets” was.

But they knew that every time the clients asked about “The markets” it sent a shiver down the spine of the two bankers. “The markets” was like a big black hole that devoured everything coming into reach.

As The Two Bankers did not really understand what was going on in “The markets” they made up a story each morning. The idea with the stories was for all the clients to believe that the two bankers knew something that others did not.

The Two Bankers were very good at storytelling and the clients loved their stories. And as they loved the stories they decided to trust the two bankers to invest all their savings.

The Two Bankers bought and sold everything that could be bought and sold in the markets. Sometimes they lost money and sometimes they made a profit for their clients.

Losses are only for clients…

The good thing for the bank however is that even though the clients sometime lost money the bank did not lose anything.

The Two Bankers was making a fortune for the bank.

The King was impressed by The Two Bankers. He thought; “If they are so good in making money they will probably be even better with some supervision”.

The first thing the new supervisor did was to implement new rules about what The Two Bankers should say to the clients and for how long they would speak to each client. “We have to increase sales efficiency” the supervisor said.

The supervisor realised he needed an assistant to keep track of all the phone calls and to make sure The Two Bankers were saying “the right” things. The supervisor decided to record all the calls and to closely monitor all transactions to produce reports to The King.

New reports…

The King was delighted about the new reports that he could present at the board meeting. There were numbers and graphs and ratios and average and…

The Two Bankers were suddenly engaged in reporting and filling out statistics and logging phone calls describing what they had been talking about with their clients. They hated the new plethora of paperwork and meetings.

The King now decided that The Two Bankers needed a manager. As The King knew “just the right person” from his previous job it was quickly arranged.

… and a new manger

The new manager was installed in the brand new created office an immediately ordered a new carpet, bought some new expensive paintings and hired an assistant from the previous work place to help out with all the reporting.

The department of The Two Bankers was now a sad place without any laughs and where everyone was upset when the reporting was not accurate and calls were not recorded within the stipulated 7,5 minutes after speaking to a client.

The Two Bankers had less time to speak to their clients because of all reporting and frequent meetings “to increase efficiency”. The Two Bankers started to complain and protest about the supervision and not having time to speak to their clients.

Now The King was convinced by the managers it was about time to perform a staff survey and a climatic survey of the working environment.

It soon became clear that The Two Bankers were not efficient enough and were complaining too much. A consultant was hired to suggest solutions.

And they worked happily ever after… elsewhere…

After three months of studies and interviews the consultant reported back to The King that the “department is overstaffed”.

Who was fired? Yes, you got it right, it was The Two Bankers as they “showed lack of motivation and had a negative attitude”.